Those days I felt so bad cause a lot of things, especially the relationship between u and me. I still confused about too many details. What kind of stuff can make u so cool to me. Just treat me like a stranger. I can't make me peaceful but I'm still trying to give u enough time to think everything between us when I'm thinking too. Today, I suddenly reminded that u said u would give me a surprise when I came back to China. So what happened is the surprise. I could't make me believe that it's true. Before I almost expect that would be a great joy from u. Maybe I'm wrong, totally wrong. Now, I still try to guess ur true mind. Have u already decided to quit to keep going? I'm not sure. What u said hurt me at each point. Why do u make our love so light? Maybe being lover is short, but being friend is a long period. Do u know what I am? U msut know. I only hope u can understand something you though isn't the truth or the correct decision. I know this time is ur special time, key point, so when u suffer too much , please don't make a change about our relationship as ur first step. I still can't finger out what make u change suddenly in a short time, even think to quit. I hope there isn't any special reason. Only my hope. Before I always believe u will be the person, expect my parents, who have never lie to me.But now, u give me a kind of feeling that I'm not sure what u are thinking. U became a little bit complicated.
Thinking the past, I found I made each of my family members know u, even my parents' friend. Have u even think that's a kind of expressing my love. Too many methods could be the way to show love.
Now It was too late, but I still cannot fall asleep.
昨天晚上反复念叨的话，还是想写下来 Before the distance between our hearts was zero even though we were in different place. But now, even u stay beside me, I feel the distance between us is huge whatever how much effort i offered. I am strugglling with so much stuff.
天气很炎热，好在前天还是大前天的一场雨算是缓解了些，晚上睡觉不再那么燥热 只是很容易困倦 很容易醒不来 很容易在不停自我思索中越来越迷失 what's wrong with me? I do nothing special to change my life. But now everything is out of mu control. It almost drive me carzy. I am lossing mu mind. For sure, I need to plan my future. But I can't stop thinking but doing sth.I know it's not good, so I must do sth.
